The following is a transcript for the episode The Junkman Cometh
Jimmy: Gentlemen, we're livin' large.
Carl: Kicking back with our bad selves watching mind-numbing television...
Sheen: And Lumberjack doesn't stand a chance against Man-Woman's bone-crushing, girly slaps!
Brobot: (on screen) Jimmy! Jimmy help!
Jimmy: Was that Brobot?
Carl: You mean that annoying robot you made because you wanted a little brother and he drove you insane so you sent him off to the Moon?
Brobot: Help me, Jimmy! Moonymen!
Carl: Yep, that was him.
Jimmy: So, what's everyone want to drink? I have classic Purple Flurp, diet Purple Flurp, and new improved Purple Flurp with more purple.
Sheen: Aren't you gonna help Brobot?
Jimmy: No I'm not gonna help Brobot! He was a major pain.
Carl: But he's still your brother!
Sheen: Yeah, he's your own nuts and bolts and circuits!
Carl: You gotta save him before the Moonymen rip him apart limb by limb!
Jimmy: Brobot can take care of himself. I've provided him with state-of-the-art self-preservation circuitry.
Brobot: Jimmy! I meant to tell you they disabled my self-preservation circuitry!
Jimmy: Guess we're going to the moon.
(Carl and Sheen gasp)
Jimmy: Come on, guys.
Carl: What? I'm not goin'.
Sheen: Yeah, what are you nuts? There's Moonymen up there!
Jimmy: Well I'm not going alone, so we're just going to sit here till you guys decide what you wanna do.
Sheen: No TV.
Jimmy: Nuh-uh.
Carl: Aw.
Sheen: Okay I'm bored.
Carl: Me too let's go.
Jimmy: Batteries to power...
Sheen: I wanna say it! I wanna say it!
Jimmy: Go ahead.
Sheen: Batteries to power, turbines to speed aaaand KICK IT HOMIE!
Jimmy: Say it right.
Sheen: Blast off.
(They leave)
Carl: WAAAAAAAH!
Sheen: Hey Jimmy, there's a question I always wanted to ask you - how come when we're in space we don't gotta wear helmets?
Jimmy: Good question Sheen. The answer is actually quite interesting. You see -
Carl: Moon, moon, moon, spoon, spoon, spoon, June, June, June, spitoon spitoon spitoon!
Sheen: Wow, really.
Jimmy: Mmhmm.
Sheen: And how come we don't need oxygen tanks and stuff?
Jimmy: Well -
Carl: Star star star you'll go far far far can't go by car car car
Sheen: Fascinating.
Jimmy: Thanks. Did you have any other questions?
Sheen: No, I kinda have a headache.
Carl: Hey Jimmy, can I stay in the rocket so I don't have to see the Moonymen?
Sheen: Carl you're such a baby! What if they're really cool-lookin' - with the ability to spit acid into our brains through our ears!
Carl: Yeah, you're right.
Sheen: Then it's settled. You guys go while I stay in the rocket and tidy up.
Carl: Hey, why do you get to tidy up? I want to tidy up - I'm the tidier around here.
Jimmy: Guys? Cut it out! Look, let's just take care of the situation quickly and get back home! The less time with Brobot, the better.
Sheen: You really have issues with him.
Jimmy: This is where Brobot's signal came from.
Carl: Which means the Moony Men could be anywhere.
Sheen: Yeah, lurking in the shadows, watching, waiting, waving, waltzing, weaving...
Carl: Sheen, stop it! You know all those "W" words scare me.
Sheen: Or one of us could be a Moony Man!
Carl: Ahh! Sheen's a Moony Man!
Sheen: Or YOU could be a Moony Man!
Carl: AHHH! I'M A MOONY MAN! STOP IT BEFORE I HURT ME!
Sheen: (laughs)
Jimmy: Guys!
Carl and Sheen: Sorry.
Carl: W-what was that?
Jimmy: I don't know. I'd better check it out with my Neutroscope. (Checks) There's something out there.
Carl: What should we do, Jimmy?
Sheen: The way I see it, we have three choices: cry, run, or have an embarrassing accident!
Carl: I may do all three.
Sheen: (Takes Neutroscope) Here, let me look. It looks tiny and really far away.
(Jimmy turns Neutroscope around as Sheen had it backwards; latter looks again)
Carl: AAH!
Jimmy: Shh, don't move. That way he won't detect us.
Carl: Ahh, he's gonna take his head off and he's gonna throw it at us and his head's gonna eat us!
(All three scream)
(Brobot takes off his helmet and laughs like the deranged fool he is)
Brobot: Oh, you guys were totally scared! Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha. Ooh, I kill me.
Sheen: Good idea. (Starts to run towards him) Come here!
Jimmy: Wait, Sheen, no,
Brobot: I’m so glad you guys are here - especially you, big brother. I’m going to give you a big hug. (Hugs Jimmy)
Carl: (Smiles sweetly at the romantic beauty of the moment)
Jimmy: Brobot, get down. Where are the Moony Men?
Brobot: Moony Men? (laughs) Oh, there are no such things as Moony Men. I made them up.
Carl: No Moony Men, yay!
Sheen: Dang, what a rip-off. I want a refund.
Brobot: Ah, see you hadn’t answered my 647 messages and I wanted to play with you so I decided to play a funny trick.(laughs) Now you laugh.
Jimmy: It’s not funny.
Carl: You know, this reminds me of that story, “The Boy Who Cried Llama.”
Sheen: Wolf.
Carl: Where?!
Brobot: What story are you talking about? Is it about a goose that doesn’t fit in? Or a magic pickle? Oh, oh, tell me the story! Tell me the story! Tell me the story!
Sheen: I’ll tell it. Kid cries wolf. People come. No wolf. Kid laughs. He made it up. Real wolf comes, kid yells. People don’t come, and…
Carl: La-la-la. Don’t tell me yet. I haven’t finished the book.
Sheen: The kid’s wolf food!
Carl: Sheeheen!
Brobot: That wasn’t a good story.
Jimmy: Neither was yours, Brobot. Come on, guys, we’re going home.
Brobot: Can’t you stay and play brother? Please please please please?
Jimmy: We’re not staying. You did a bad thing, Brobot. A very bad thing.
Brobot: I’m sorry Jimmy.
Sheen: Three, two, one.
Jimmy: Wait, Brobot!
Sheen: I knew it.
Carl: Push over.
Jimmy: I suppose we could stay and collect selenium crystals for a few minutes.
Brobot: How many minutes - 60 kabillion minutes?
Jimmy: A few minutes.
Brobot: Yaaay! I’ll help you Jimmy. I’ll get my pail and shovel and be right back.
Jimmy: Oh, I can’t believe he lured us all the way up here with that stupid story.
Sheen: Yeah, what a little jerk.
Carl: I don’t know, I think Brobot’s kind of cute.
Sheen: You think everything is cute.
Carl: Well you think Ultra-Lord is cute!
Sheen: I do not!
Carl: Yes you do, you told me.
Sheen: No, let me clarify. I said “baby” Ultra-Lord is cute.
Carl: Yeah, he is. Hey, can I borrow your Baby Ultra-Lord doll when we get home?
Sheen: He’s an action figure! Just for that, you can’t borrow him.
Jimmy: Guys, I need you to focus. Hmm…space clouds. That’s rare this time of year.
Brobot: Help Jimmy Help!
Jimmy: Now what?
Brobot: Jimmy, the Junkman is here. He took my parents and sucked them into his ship.
Jimmy: What did I say about making up stories?
Sheen: Ooh! Ooh! I know! They should have a strong opening. a solid middle and a satisfying ending.
Brobot: I'm not making it up! The Junkman is real. He's horrible and scary.
Jimmy: Come on, guys, let's get out of here and let Brobot play his little games by himself
Brobot: Wait!
Carl: Boy, Brobot was really upset.
Sheen: Yeah, he'll be severely emotionally scarred for the rest of his life. Any salty snacks on board?
Carl: Hey, you guys, what if Brobot's telling the truth and there really is a Junkman?