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The following is a transcript of the episode: Hall Monster
Opening scene- Jimmy, Sheen, and Carl are in front of the school steps talking while other students filter into the school behind them.
Jimmy: Gentlemen I present the Monday morning forgotten report delivery system! Better known as man’s best friend Goddard!
Goddard flies down and hands Jimmy the paper who gleefully grabs it.
Jimmy: Thanks boy!
Goddard barks twice as Sheen fearfully looks around.
Sheen: Hurry up, let’s get to class before the bell rings!
They all, Goddard included start running up the steps.
Carl: Yeah -gulp- we don’t want to run into-
A converse sneaker and a musical cue cut Carl off.
Carl: The hall monitor!
Chuck Lester is standing in the doorway of the school sneering at the group.
Chuck: Hey Neutron!
He jabs his pencil at Jimmy and waves his note pad around for emphasis.
Chuck: You know the rules! No dogs at school! That’s a demerit!
He scribbles on his notepad.
Chuck: And where’s your hall pass!
Jimmy: I don’t need one Chuck I’m not in the hall and class hasn’t started yet.
Jimmy and the guys try to all walk forward but Chuck blocks them with his arms.
All Three: Hey!
The bell goes off.
Chuck: Now you need a pass! That’s another demerit! AND, you’re late to class! Another demerit! Have a nice day!
He marks off a new note on his notepad each time he mentions a demerit and then waves them into the building condescendingly.
Later in the classroom Miss Fowl is at the head of the classroom everyone is seated.
Miss Fowl: Class I’m afraid I have some very sad news.
Sheen: They’re canceling the Ultra Lord show!
Sheen is practically climbing of his desk
Carl: Llamas are extinct!
Miss Fowl: No, no, no, Chuck Lester our beloved hall monitor is moving to Greece and -sobs into hands- will be leaving us.
The entire class shouts and cheers whooping in joy at him leaving. Many students are throwing their hands up in excitement as they cheer out.
Miss Fowl: We will now choose the next hall monitor as directed by the Lindbergh Elementary rwa-constitution, by picking a random name from this hat.
Said hat is the hall monitor hat that Chuck was wearing that morning.
Jimmy: That’s the worst most stupidest most boring job in the world -scoff- I would hate to be hall monitor.
Carl at his desk has his hands held together as he looks up.
Carl: -Quietly- I wanna be hall monitor, I wanna be hall monitor, I wanna be hall monitor-
Miss Fowl is holding up a piece of paper.
Miss Fowl: Carl Wheezer!
Carl stands on his desk.
Carl: I accept!
Miss Fowl: I forgot to tell that your mother left an extra pair of clean -leaning in to whisper- you know what’s brwaa-aack at the office.
Carl settles down in his seat with a frown looking defeated.
Miss Fowl: Now back to the new hall monitor announcement -she looks at the card- it’s Jimmy Neutron!
She holds out the card for the class to read.
Jimmy: No!!!
As Jimmy yells the cuts to the school and cuts back to him.
Jimmy: This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me!
The camera cuts to Hugh Neutron. Its at the end of the day and Jimmy is in the Neutron living room with his father.
Hugh: Being the hall monitor was the best thing that ever happened to me -sigh- yeah, the tight uniform the smell of the hall. The beautiful noise that my shoes made when I walk .
He makes a series of creaking noises imitating shoes on tiles linoleum. Jimmy is in his new hall monitor uniform, a blue collared, shirt with his normal jeans and a cylindrical hat with a metal oval on the front engraved with ‘Hall Squad’ and a dark square brim; He looks upset.
Jimmy: Uh-huh, that’s uh, great dad.
Hugh: -suddenly serious- But there’s a danger hidden beneath the glamour son, a man in uniform is a powerful thing, don’t abuse your position. Or it could be really, really, oh what do they call it? Not good.
Jimmy shakes his head and is then in the school hallway looking into the mirror in his locker. The principal walks up to him.
Jimmy: Principal Willoughby cant ya get someone else to be hall monitor?
Jimmy slams his locker closed.
Principal Willoughby: Jimmy did you know that the old man you like so much with the funny hair and the big brain and the E equals M C Squared thingy was a hall monitor?
Jimmy: Albert Einstein was a hall monitor? We- I’ve never read that in the hundred and seventy-eight biographies I’ve read about him.
Principal Willoughby: Oh, it’s a hundred percent true! Hahaha good luck.
Jimmy looks off into the distance.
Jimmy: Einstein was a hall monitor.
Cindy: You know what they say about a man in uniform Libby? Well it’s a lie. Once a Nerdtron always a Nerdtron.
Libby: Careful Cindy, Jimmy’s the man now he can get us into trouble.
Jimmy who was looking down suddenly looks as if something clicked for him.
Jimmy: I can? Oh yeah, I can! Cut the chit chat ladies move it along and remember I’m keeping an eye on you.
Libby walks away without a fuss after covering her mouth, while Cindy rolls her eyes as she walks away. As Jimmy is talking, he walks in the opposite direction while looking at them. He collides with Butch who was rounding the corner and falls to the ground.
Butch: Hey! Watch where you’re going punk! You are dead me-gasp-
Jimmy is on the ground grimacing. Butch seems to take in Jimmy’s appearance fully for the first time. It must be difficult for him to see through his bangs. He really takes in Jimmy’s badge on his chest that reads “Hall Monitor” in all caps with the letter R beneath it.
Butch: Mr. Hall monitor sir!
He picks Jimmy up off the ground.
Butch: How clumsy of me- uh I have my pass right here, he ha ha
He pulls his pass out of his back pocket while walking away backwards.
Butch: Nice to see ya ciao.
He books it. In the background Tristan is walking forward. As Jimmy speaks and Tristan sees him, he runs away in fear.
Jimmy: For once this boy genius may have been wrong. This is a great job!
As Jimmy speaks Oleander also spots him and then runs away in fear and shortly after so does Abraham. Angie peaks her head around the hall wall before darting back.
Miss Fowl and Principal Willoughby walk up to Jimmy.
Miss Fowl: Congratulations Jimmy, I’ve never seen the halls look so… O-orderly!
Principal Willoughby: Miss Fowl we might be looking at the greatest hall monitor ever! Maybe even greater than Albert Einstein!
Jimmy smiles before looking off to the side his expression concerning.
Scene Change- Jimmy is in his lab a screen saver of an atom moving on his monitor and a helmet and inventions on the table in front of him.
Jimmy: I will bring Lindbergh elementary into the new millennium and beyond!
He picks up a magnifier glass and looks into it.
Jimmy: With state-of-the-art hall monitoring.
He clicks a button and the magnifying glass shows his skull
Jimmy: And you’re gonna help me.
He looks at Goddard who whimpers in confusion.
Jimmy: The hall pass authenticator!
He spins said device in his hand it is a black handle with a red atom decal above the red button and a metal rod that’s ended with a metal ball and surrounded by two blue rings.
Jimmy: Able to detect counterfeit passes! The ID and background check scanner. Hear my flappers of hallway law. Jimmy Neutron is on the job.
Later Jimmy is in his uniform ad helmet cruising down the school hallway as he rides Goddard. When he stops at an intersection everyone turns to look at him, he jumps off Goddard and pulls out his authenticator. Carl is walking forward in the hall.
Carl: Hi Jimmy. Can I touch your uniform?
Jimmy: Halt! Your papers
Carl: Hah I-I-I have a pass I was just going to the bathroom -hyperventilating- as I always go at eight forty-seven. Nine twenty-three, eleven forty-two, e-
Jimmy who was scanning the pass has Carl's information on his visor.
Jimmy: Wheezer, Carl. Blood type O negative, card carrying member of the Love Llama Society, prior arrests none. Everything’s in order move along.
He hands Carl his pass back.
Carl: Eh- auuah!
Carl runs away in fear.
Later Libby and Cindy are rounding the corner, Libby is listening to her music while Cindy looks deep in thought. Libby is quietly humming to herself as she walks.
Cindy: Nerdtron being hall monitor is the worst thing that’s happened to this school since they banned ‘extreme jump roping’.
Jimmy drives up to the girls Goddard flashing red and blue as a siren noise plays.
Jimmy: Miss Vortex pull over.
Cindy: What’s the problem? Hall moron
Jimmy: I believe you’ve committed a fashion infraction Goddard, attain pants measurement data.
Goddard leans forward extending his neck, a caliper drops from the roof of his mouth and measures her pants, Cindy leans back in surprise.
The measurement flashes on Goddard’s screen
Jimmy: Eleven- and three-quarter inches! Too short for pants! Yet too long for shorts!
As Jimmy writes down the ticket Cindy is rolling her eyes.
Jimmy: A direct violation of the Lindbergh elementary fashion treaty of ninety-seven.
Cindy snatches the ticket that Jimmy handed to her.
Libby: Why don’t you do something useful and arrest yourself for being a dork.
Jimmy: Is that music you’re listening to?
Libby: -Chuckles- Yeah, it’s the new song by the cute multicultural boys with no attitude.
Jimmy has his hands behind his back as he leans forward.
Jimmy: There is no pop, punk, funk, house, blues, rock, roll, oldies, or easy listening allowed in the halls. Goddard! Confiscate!
Goddard extends his neck and grabs Libby’s headphones off her head.
Libby: Uh oh! -gasp- music withdrawal! Ah! Skin feeling clammy!
She falls to the ground curled up into the fetal position on the ground as she sucks her thumb, Cindy leans over her friend and pats her on the arm.
Sheen: Wo-ho-ho-oah that was on the harsh side.
Sheen walks over with a purple duffel bag in hand.
Jimmy: Do you have a problem citizen? What’s in the gym bag?
Sheen: What?
Sheen drops his bag in shock.
Sheen: Hey, Jimmy it’s me! The Sheenster cut me some slack home slice!
He bumps his chest twice with his fist and then throws and upside-down peace sign.
Jimmy: Goddard! X-ray!
Goddard’s extra arm extends out of his back and Jimmy walks closer to the bag. He clicks the button on the side allowing it to X-ray his chin for a moment before the camera changes to looking into the bag.
Jimmy: Ultra Lord comic, Ultra Lord action figure, Ultra Lord athletic supporter!
Sheen looks like he’s about to speak but doesn’t, Jimmy begins to rustle in Sheen's bag.
Jimmy: Ah-ha! And what do we have here?
He pulls out a small rectangle, sniffs, and then licks it.
Jimmy: A colorfully wrapped sucrose-based chewing substance! Gum perhaps?
Sheen: Bu- I wasn’t chewing it!
Jimmy: That’s possession Sheen, you are going down.
Carl sidesteps into the scene holding his lunchbox. In the background Cindy is comforting a now standing Libby who still looks downtrodden.
Carl: Eh, Jimmy, I’m not doing anything wrong, or b-b-bad, or evil am i?
Jimmy is looking at Carl through his visor nothing lights up but then he looks down to Carl’s lunchbox. It’s a love llama lunchbox with five stickers on I, a heart in a circle, a llama in a field, a round orb creature that looks Kirby adjacent, a sticker with stars, and a sticker that reads “Poofy-Dee”. The visor reads “Overload” as it beeps at Jimmy.
Jimmy: You have exceeded the amount of llama stickers on your lunchbox.
Carl: I know, but- I got a special permit.
Sheen who was sneaking over to the girls gets Carl’s attention while Jimmy was writing and motions him over with a shh.
Cindy: I think your friends’ hat is on a little too tight.
Sheen: His hats are always too tight, look at his head!
Carl: Maybe we should get Principal Willoughby.
That gets Jimmy’s attention.
Jimmy: Are you conducting a secret meeting? Is this a conspiracy to start a riot! Up against the wall!
He points to the wall of lockers they all start turning except Cindy.
Jimmy: Spread ‘em!
Cindy: Okay Neutron! You’re outta control, I’m making a citizen’s arrest!
Sheen: I want a public defender.
Libby: I want my music.
Carl: I want my mommy -sobs- And some fudge
The camera focuses on each of them as they speak.
Jimmy: Red alert Goddard this is not a drill!
Jimmy’s helmet is flashing and its siren blaring.
Jimmy: This floor is on lockdown, incarcerate the troublemakers!
Goddard tosses a net over the four.
Scene change- The camera is focused on Libby sitting in her seat in the classroom a cage with bars over her seat.
Libby: I miss my music!
Sheen: Nene ne neeeh!
Sheen is also in his seat a cage around his seat.
Libby: I miss it so bad I could cry!
Sheen: Nene ne neeeh!
Libby: If I don’t get my music-
Jimmy walks in and all four of them are sitting in their desks cages around each of them.
Jimmy: Lady we don’t sing blues music here.
Sheen starts to rattle a metal cup on the bars of his cell.
Jimmy: No tin cup banging gum boy!
Sheen: Ah man.
Jimmy turns to Cindy who is messing with something
Jimmy: And no carving keys to your cell outta soap
She quickly hides away what she was doing.
Carl: Uhm, Mr. hall monitor sir, can I go to the bathroom please?
Sheen: Yeah, yeah me too! I gotta go too!
Jimmy: Alright you have sixty seconds.
Jimmy presses a button on his watch and the cells clink open.
Carl: Uh I dunno if I can go that fast.
Jimmy: Fifty-eight seconds.
Carl and Sheen both run out of the room. A cut shows them in the bathroom the shot is mostly the stalls, but their feet are peeking through.
Sheen: We gotta outta here Carl.
Carl: But I’m not done yet!
Sheen: No, I mean get out and get help, Jimmy’s gone nuts! I have an escape plan check it out!
Goddard’s head comes in from the sink of the bathroom through the water fountain outside, Jimmy is watching and listening from the hall.
Sheen: I’ll disguise myself as a rhesus monkey and shimmy down the fire escape with my feet and then you create a diversion-
Jimmy: Goddard retract and access central toilet system and flush them out!
Goddard’s screen now not only shows Sheen and Carl’s feet but also reads “flushing” before said sound is heard.
Jimmy: Surfs up!
Carl and Sheen scream sliding out of the bathroom with a tidal wave water. The principal walks up to them.
Principal Willoughby: What in the name of all things bright and beautiful is going on?
Jimmy: These hooligans were trying to escape!
Sheen: Principal Willoughby! Jimmy’s unleashed a reign of terror! Terror!
Cindy cries out as she busts down the vent that her and Libby had been crawling through.
Cindy: He is the worst hall monitor ever!
Carl: Eh, he’s still my best friend, but he’s gone Mad with Power!
Jimmy: I’m simply doing my job. Goddard hose these radicals down and put ‘em in chains!
Sheen starts tapping his head.
Sheen: Wait a minute! Goddard records everything! He could prove how crazy Jimmy’s been in high definition and Dolby THX!
Sheen mimes out the shape of a TV in the air.
Cindy: Yeah! Let’s see what man’s best friend has up his hard drive! Ha!
Jimmy: Ha! He won’t show you subversive types anything!
Goddard shakes his head.
Cindy: Why not?
Jimmy: Cause you didn’t say, Goddard Access Hall monitor tapes.
Jimmy looks smug but then Goddard reveals his screen and the screen says “Accessing” before playing the tapes.
Jimmy: Darn
Video fed of Jimmy having Nissa, Carl, Tina, and Wendell, (in that order) face the locker wall their hands on the wall as he silently tells them off.
Next is video Courtney and Butch in a pillory (those big wooden handcuffs with spaces for the head) and he’s telling them off.
After that is video of Brittany, Angie, and Rose are all chained at the ankle attached to a ball on a chain as Jimmy berates them.
A few clips of Jimmy shouting and being rude play, Jimmy rises his visor and really takes a look at himself.
Hugh: But there’s a danger hidden beneath the glamour son, a man in uniform is a powerful thing.
Jimmy turns to the window, everyone else is looking there too.
Hugh: Eh- hi- eh J-Ji- sonny, just dropped by to remind you not to overdo that hole -eh hall monitor thing, I did darn if I didn’t lose every friend I had. Buh bye.
Hugh then backs out of the window, hits his head and falls out the rest of the way. Jimmy looks torn up he turns back to the feed on Goddard’s chest that’s been paused on him shouting.
Jimmy: -gasp- is- is that really me?
Goddard nods his head
Jimmy: Did I become obsessed with power in my quest to emulate Albert Einstein and be the greatest hall monitor?
Carl, Sheen, Cindy, Libby: Yes!
Principal Willoughby: Oh about Einstein being a hall monitor Jimmy. -he that was my sister Eunice -Chuckle- I’m always getting them confused!
He pulls out a picture of a little girl in a pink dress with grey wild hair and a large mustache.
All: Ew.
Jimmy takes off his helmet.
Jimmy: Principal Willoughby I hereby resign!
Libby Cindy Carl and Sheen start to all cheer.
Libby: Woohoo yes!
Cindy: Yeah!
Carl: Yea-hah!
Sheen: Huzzah!
Miss Fowl walks in with a giant scroll of paper.
Miss Fowl: I’m afraid that’s impossible according to the Lindbergh school constitution. Hall monitors can't resign r-aaa-ah, you have to be fired! For breaking the rules!
Jimmy: Hhm for breaking rules eh?
Jimmy throws his helmet at the wall.
He walks up close to Sheen.
Jimmy: I’m chewing gu-um!
He blows a bubble in his face. Then he’s in the middle of the hall a speaker coming from Goddard side is playing music.
Jimmy: I’m playing music!
He cuffs up his pants while next to Cindy and Sheen.
Jimmy: My pants are too short!
Cindy and Sheen cover their eyes with their hands. Next Jimmy is holding his lunchbox and standing next to Carl.
Jimmy: I’m putting too many stickers on my lunchbox!
Scene change- back in the classroom later Jimmy is dressed as normal and Miss Fowl has the hat full of names again as she stands at the front.
Miss Fowl: And now! Let’s pick our next hall monitor!
She pulls a slip of paper.
Miss Fowl: Carl Wheezer!
Carl jumps up and down in his seat.
Carl: Victory is mine!
Miss Fowl: Your mother called, she said don’t forget to take your r-aa-aaa-aaa nose drops!
Carl: Ooh.
Carl groans falling back into his seat before his seat actually falls tipping him on the ground.
Miss Fowl: And the new hall monitor is-
Sheen is in the middle of the hall wearing his Ultra Lord helmet
Sheen: Ultra-Hall-Monitor says, none shall pass!
The bell rings and everyone shouts as they run forward, Sheen ends up on top of the crowd as they run
Sheen: Aah, oh ow, that’s gonna hurt! Ow my leg!
End Card.